Yesterday ended up being an overly social day. I say ‘overly’, as by the end of it I was exhausted and could barely keep conversation going. I just wanted to go home and be alone and rest.

It started off with coffee with a guy I’d been on a coffee date with a few months ago and kept in touch with. It was great to see him and catch up…we have incredible conversations and have a lot in common from a spiritual aspect as well as professionally. Unfortunately, he told me that although he really likes me…loves our conversations….and feels we have great chemistry, he’s recently met someone that gives him butterflies and he needs to explore that. Which is fine – and I’m happy for him. But disappointing also, as I do quite like him and he’s the first man I’ve liked, in that way, in a very long time. We have a connection that you don’t find often, and I was hoping we could have explored that. But…not meant to be.

Then was brunch with one of my besties, where we had a long conversation about how my break from alcohol would affect our friendship. She’s my partner in crime here, my friend that is always up to join me for a cheeky wine or two – or three or four. It was good for us to talk. She is worried that I won’t want to hang out with her because she’s drinking…and also worried that she’ll feel bad drinking around me as she wants to be supportive and understands why I’m doing this. It’s not that our entire friendship revolves around drinking, it’s that more often than not our socializing does have that aspect to it. But our friendship is more important so we need to find ways to make sure we don’t lose that. Honestly, at this point…the only thing I would kind of struggle with is a wine bar, as there are no substitutes (available in restaurants) and I really do love a nice glass of wine. If there are other options, besides water, then I don’t feel like I’m missing out. So after brunch, and some time wandering around shops in one of the areas that’s usually so overrun with tourists that you can’t get near, we went to a cocktail bar that has AF options. She had a vermut…and I had this amazing concoction that came in a Viking style horn! So cool!

And then the socializing ended with a coffee date with someone new. He was a lovely guy…just no chemistry on my side. We funny enough went to the same cocktail bar I had just been at and the bartender made me another amazing AF cocktail. I am definitely going back there – she is a rockstar! We then went to get coffee but for some reason he took me to a bit of a dive bar for the coffee – and they didn’t have decaf so I had an AF beer and he had a rum and coke. Which meant he was getting more animated from the alcohol and caffeine….and I was getting tired as, well…I was tired. And I didn’t have the stimulant of alcohol in me. It had been a long day and I just wanted to go home and hang out with my cat. Had I been drinking, I probably would have stayed out and been a Chatty Cathy. But all I wanted to do was go home.

It was lovely to get home…watch a bit of Netflix…have some cheese & crackers and then read before going to sleep. Sometimes I wonder if I’m doomed to always fall for the guy who is, for whatever reason, unavailable. If I’m going to be forever single. I have no problem being single…I love my life. I would just love to share it with someone. But what I do know is…I’m grateful for honesty, even when it’s something I don’t want to hear… and for candid discussions with a friend so that we can keep our bond…and for a new-to-me cocktail bar that does some amazingly fun AF drinks!

X